


Missed Oportunities

by frightenedlobster



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Au - Bram doesn't make it to the fair in time, But its super gay, M/M, Miscommunication, This could be terrible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:36:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14107494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frightenedlobster/pseuds/frightenedlobster
Summary: Blue didn't show up.Simon waited until all of the rides had closed down and everybody, even the staff, had left.Simon waited a half an hour after the whole thing shut down, and when Blue still didn't show up, Simon sat in his car and cried.***What if Bram didn't turn up to the carnival? What if Bram didn't see the e-mail and never met Simon? What if Simon took up Cal Price on his offer?Bram doesn't see the message and Simon starts dating Cal. (Spoiler alert - everything works itself out.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this thought popped into my head yesterday evening and now here I am. 
> 
> I hope it turns out as angsty but with as many feelings as I want it to have.
> 
> For those of you who are here from the movie and haven't read the book, let me give you a quick run down:
> 
> In the book, when Simon is outed, Martin doesn't put his emails anywhere. He actually deleted them and never planned to put them up. So, no one knows Simon was emailing anyone. Bram figured out who Jacques was but Simon guessed incorrectly and thought that Blue was Cal Price. Cal Price, a bisexual boy who is very underrated, says him and Simon should hang out sometime after Simon is outed. 
> 
> Blue and Simon haven't emailed in about how weeks when Simon messages Blue to say he would be at the carnival at 6:30 and Blue could meet him there. Bram turns up two hours late and they hold hands and kiss the next day and everything is happy and good.
> 
> NOT IN THIS STORY IT ISN'T. 
> 
> So, please enjoy whatever the hell this is.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue didn't show up at the carnival that night. 
> 
> Simon doesn't handle the situation too well.

Blue didn't show up.

Simon waited until all of the rides had closed down and everybody, even the staff, had left.

Simon waited a half an hour after the whole thing shut down, and when Blue still didn't show up, Simon sat in his car and cried.

***

He didn't go into school the next day.  He didn't check his e-mail either.  

Simon got the message - Blue wasn't interested anymore.

***

Two days after Blue didn't show up at the carnival, Simon went into school.  His friends picked up on his mood pretty quickly.  Abby had text him yesterday to ask if everything had worked out at the carnival.  Simon had only said, "no", and Abby hadn't asked anymore questions.

Abby gave him a one-armed hug when he came in and Nick clapped him on the shoulder.  Other than that, they didn't say anything.  Simon was glad they didn't.  He wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Class dragged on until lunch.  It wasn't the reprise Simon was hoping it to be.  The cafeteria was too loud and bright and not at all suited to Simon's miserable state.  Simon felt the way The Great Depression playlist sounded.

The others chatted good naturally, Abby, Nick and Garrett arguing over some celebrity couple. Leah, Morgan and Anna weren't there.  Anna appeared briefly at the start of lunch to buy a sandwich and only smiled quickly at their table and headed out of the cafeteria.  Simon didn't think about it for too long; Leah still wasn't speaking to him and probably the last thing she wanted to see was Abby and Nick together.

Simon didn't really listen to anything anyone said, only nodding his head in agreement when Nick asked him a question, trying to draw him into their conversation.

Simon wasn't in the mood for it.  He wanted to mope in peace.

It was typical lunch table chatter, apart from Simon sitting there silently.  The one other odd thing was Cute Bram Greenfeld (Simon could definitely call him cute now, seeing as Blue was no longer interested).  He kept staring at Simon and he looked away quickly whenever Simon glanced up at him.  But then he went back to staring.

It was weird.  Bram rarely spoke at lunch, only ever talking to Garrett and Nick, now and again.  He mostly kept to himself.  So Simon didn't understand his sudden staring problem.  After the third or fourth time he caught Bram staring, Simon got cross.  He wasn't in the mood to be singled out by a jock that never spoke, even if they were a very attractive jock.

"Is there something on my face?" Simon asked.

Bram blushed bright red.  "What?" he stammered.

"Is there something on my face?" Simon repeated.  "You keep staring at me."

"What - uh, no," Bram said.

By now, the others had stopped talking and were looking between Simon and Bram.

"Well can you just stop?  It's creeping me out."  _Lie_.  Cute boys staring at him made him flustered, not creeped out.

"Simon -" Abby started.

"S-sorry, I didn't realise I was staring-"

"OK whatever.  I have work to finish up in the library," Simon said.  He got up and grabbed his tray, placing it back by the lunch counter.

Before he left the table, Simon heard Garrett ask, "What was that all about?"

"I, uh, I don't know," Bram replied.  

Simon left the lunch room.  

***

Simon didn't actually have any work to finish up.  He wasn't planning on starting any homework either, so he wandered down to the library slowly, trying to pass the time.  Lunch was nowhere near over, so he had a load of time to kill.

He felt bad about snapping at Bram.  Bram had done nothing wrong to him, like ever.  Even if the staring was a little strange.  He would apologise later on.

God, he felt really bad about it.  Bram seemed like a really nice guy.  He had never once acted weird around Simon since he had been outed, which Simon greatly appreciated.  Simon wasn't too sure, but he was almost certain that it was Bram and Garrett who had taken down the cast list that day when someone had changed their names.

Blue wouldn't have snapped at him.  Blue was too nice of a guy to do that.

Albeit, he didn't show up yesterday so maybe he wasn't exactly Prince Charming.

The moment Simon though that, he scolded himself.  No point being rude to Bram _and_ Blue.  It was mainly Simon's fault that Blue didn't show up - he did incorrectly assume Blue was someone else and did try to get Blue to reveal who he was, probably before he was ready.

Blue _was_ like Prince Charming, but maybe he just wasn't meant to be Simon's.

And that made Simon feel hollow and empty, and made his heart ache.  

Simon tried to stop thinking about Blue.  It was so much harder than he needed it to be.

Simon rounded the corner and walked right into Cal freaking Price, of all people, knocking the books and papers out of his arms.

"Oh sorry, Simon.  I wasn't looking where I was going," Cal said.  

Simon blushed.  "No, no it's my fault.  Sorry, I'm just really distracted today. "

Simon bent down to help pick up Cal's books.  This was just perfect.  Another reminder of how much of an idiot Simon was.

Simon reached out to pick up a book the same time Cal did.  Their fingers brushed and Simon's face turned a darker shade of red.  He straightened up quickly and handed Cal his books and papers.

"S-sorry about that," he said again.

"That's alright, Simon," Cal said.  He smiled and, oh, he really did have lovely eyes.  But he wasn't Blue and Simon didn't know if that was a relief or not anymore.

It was quiet for a moment.  Cal and Simon weren't friends per say, but they were definitely acquaintances and they were both interested in each other at some stage.  The silence was awkward but not uncomfortable.

"Are you heading to the library?" Cal asked politely.

"Um, yeah.  Some last minute homework to do."

"Oh.  Well, it's closed right now," Cal said.  "The sign says it'll be open again by Monday, they're just fixing some of the computers.  An electrical error or something like that.  I don't know too much about how computers work," Cal said.  He was rambling, which was cute.  Cal never rambled.  He always seemed so... composed.  Like Blue.  Cute and composed and grammatical Blue.

But Cal wasn't Blue.

Simon realised he had to answer and not just mope around in his own head.  He said, "Guess I'll just, not do the homework then."

"Ha, yeah.  Guess so."

The awkward silence was back.

Cal fidgeted with his papers.  Simon shuffled on his feet and thought things over.  

Cal wasn't Blue, Simon knew that much.  But Blue wasn't interested in Simon.  He knew who Jacques was, had known for a while now, and still didn't show up at the carnival.  He hadn't e-mailed Simon in a while, either.

All in all, Blue just didn't seem to want to know Simon any more than he already did.

Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't kill Simon to try and move on from Blue.  Even if it was with someone Blue probably wasn't too fond of anymore.

"So, I should be getting back to my friends -"

"Do you wanna hang out sometime?"

Cal stopped talking.  He looked a little surprised.  Simon was surprised himself.  

"Oh.  _Oh_."

"Of course, I get it if you aren't interested, I'll just go -"

"No, Simon wait."  Cal grabbed his wrist, stopping Simon as he turned, and dropping all of his books again.

"I'd love to hang out sometime," Cal said.  He smiled at Simon.  

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." 

"Cool, um, yeah.  Uh, let me get those," Simon said.  He was blushing like mad and his heart was racing but he smiled at Cal and picked up his books.

"My locker is just around the corner.  Could you help me?  Please?" 

"Sure."

They walked the short distance to Cal's locker, neither of them saying much.  There was only one other boy in the hall but his locker door was open and Simon couldn't see his face.  He was far enough away that Simon didn't think he would be able to hear Simon and Cal anyway.

Cal opened his locker and Simon handed him his books.  He put them away, grabbed what he needed and closed the door.  Then he turned to face Simon and leaned against the lockers.

Simon felt awkward and weird but in a good way.  He wasn't sure if it was in a good way.

''So, um..."

"I'll text you?" Cal asked.

"Uh, yeah, that would be great."

"I don't think I have your number."

"Oh, let me get it for you."  Simon fumbled with his phone and passed it over to Cal.  Cal typed away and then his phone pinged with a message.  He handed Simon back his phone.  He grinned and waved his own phone at Simon. 

"Now you have mine and I have yours," Cal said.  "I really do have to catch up with my friends though.  I'll text you later?"

"Ok, yeah.  See you later, Cal."

"Bye Simon."

Then Cal was walking away and Simon felt light headed.  All this time thinking Cal Price was Blue and now Simon had his number and a promise to text him.

It was way more than Simon could wrap his head around.

Especially since he was hit with a wave of guilt.  But Blue wasn't interested in him so he should just move on and stop pining over a boy who doesn't want him.  Even if that boy was one of the best things to happen to Simon.  

Even though Blue made Simon's day much better.  But they hadn't talked in weeks, so obviously it wasn't supposed to be.  But what if -

Simon cut off his own rambling thoughts when the boy down the hallway closed his locker.  It was Bram Greenfeld.

Bram was kneeling down, shuffling around papers in his bag.  Simon should apologise to him.  Now was the perfect opportunity.

"Bram!"  Simon called.  The boy in question looked up, his eyes wide.

"Simon, uh, hi?"

Simon quickly walked over to him.  Bram stood and put his bag on his back.  

God, he was so freaking cute.

"Bram, hey.  I wanted to apologise about earlier.  I was kind of an asshole to you for no reason.  It's just been a weird few days, which isn't really a good enough excuse but yeah.  That's where I'm at.  So, sorry," Simon said.

"Its fine, Simon, really.  I wasn't really concentrating and I guess it would be weird for someone to stare at you the whole of lunch," Bram said.  He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.  It was probably the most Simon had ever heard Bram say.

"Nah, it's ok.  I was being weird," Simon said.  "Sorry."

"Its ok."

The bell rang, startling Simon.  He hadn't realised just how much time had passed.  

"I better get to my locker so I'm not late for class.  I'll see you in English?"

For some reason, that made Bram blush.  Simon tried to ignore how cute he looked.  

"I'll see you in English," he said quietly.  

Simon waved and walked away.  

What he told Bram was true.  It had been a weird couple of days.  And he should be happier about going out with Cal because its _Cal Price_ , someone Simon had hoped to be Blue, he didn't feel that happy at all.  

He felt uncomfortable and guilty and he regretted everything he had done in the past three days.  

Simon shook his head.  He had to stop feeling sorry for himself and start being happy about what he had.  

He had a date with Cal Price.  Simon Spier from two weeks ago would be thrilled.  Current Simon Spier was just being an idiot.  

So, he brushed away the silly thoughts and smiled.  He had plenty of things to look forward to.

He just had to start thinking about Cal and stop thinking about Blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check me out on Tumblr! @graaaace


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram didn't see the message until after ten thirty but by then, it was too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bram's point of view on the first chapter!
> 
> Anything in bold and italics is a direct quote from the book!

Bram didn't see the message until after ten thirty but by then, it was too late.

He went to Garrett's house after the play and they played video games and ate bad food.  Garrett didn't have to ask what was up with Bram.  He knew he would tell him was ready, something Bram really appreciated about their friendship.  Bram had only come out to Garrett a while ago - he wasn't ready to tell him about Simon yet.  If that was even a thing anymore. 

Bram didn't check his phone, grateful for the mindless distraction of video games.  If he spent one more minute thinking about Simon and Jacques and everything else, his head would explode.  

Simon had his number, had had it for weeks.  If he wanted to talk to Bram, he would text him. They didn't e-mail anymore.  He hated looking at his phone and not seeing a text or an e-mail from Simon.  

Except, he did have an e-mail from Simon.  An e-mail asking Bram to meet him at the fair that night.

_For what it's worth, I'll be there at six thirty.  And I hope I see you._

_Love,_

_Simon_

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Oh no.  That was bad.  That was very very bad.  It was 10:34 now.  _Three and a half hours_ after Simon said he would be there.  The carnival was closed, had closed at nine.  

Bram stood up abruptly, his controller clattering to the ground.  He stared at his phone in his hand, cold shock washing over his skin.  

"Bram?  You ok, man?" 

Bram didn't hear Garrett, too busy grabbing his coat and pulling on his shoes.  

"I have to go.  I'll see you later," Bram said as he raced out the door.

"What - Bram!"

Bram passed quickly through the house, waving goodbye at Garrett's mother and fumbling with door handles.

He tripped over the doorstep in his hurry to get to his car and his phone went flying out of his hand.  The resulting crack made him wince. 

He picked his phone up and groaned.  It was totalled - the stupid, flimsy screen smashed.  It was the third time he had dropped it in the past two weeks.  It was only time before it was completely un-salvageable.  

But why did now have to be that time?

Bram pressed the home screen button and - nothing.  He did it again and his phone miraculously turned on.  Half the screen had turned black, he other half covered in green swirls.  

Bram wanted to cry.  He wanted to talk on his knees and shake his fists at the sky and curse every deity out there.  

Instead, he scowled and shoved his phone in his pocket like he should have when he decided to leave the house.  He got into his car and started it up.  He pulled out pf the Laughlin's driveway and prayed he wasn't too late.

***

He was too late.

When Bram pulled up at the carnival, it was completely deserted.  All of the rides were shut down and the lights turned off, turning the whole place into an eerily quiet fairground found in every horror movie ever.

Idiot.  Idiot.  Idiot.  

His one chance - gone.  Blown away like the empty churro wrappers on the ground.

And what would Simon think?

They hadn't spoke in a few weeks - Simon would think he hated him, couldn't bear the fact that Jacques was Simon and so wouldn't meet him.  

Bram didn't want to think about that.  Except it's all he could think about.

He had been unbelievably happy when he was right about Simon's secret identity.  Crushing on Simon for literal years and then he turns out to be the guy Bram has fallen in love with over e-mails and secret identities?  Bram couldn't believe his luck.  

Except Simon didn't think that he was Blue, probably didn't want Bram to be Blue.  Not that he would know who Blue was - his last e-mail said as much.  Simon said he didn't know Bram's name or what he looked like but he knew everything else about Bram; Simon knew him, knew who he was as a person.

He trudged back to his car.  If he banged his head against the steering wheel once or twice, no one would know anyways.  The carnival was completely deserted.

For the first time in his life, Bram wished the carnival was filled bustling crowds of rowdy people, if only he got to see Simon waiting for him by the queue for the Ferris Wheel.

***

Bram went straight home from the carnival.  His mom give him a stern talking to about school nights and staying out late without telling her.  He didn't bother mentioning his phone.  He would save that lecture for another day.  

He fell into his bed right away, not bothering to near his laptop.  Simon probably wouldn't check his e-mail.  Bram would just have to talk to him in school tomorrow.

And, OK, the thought of that made his anxiety flare up and raise it's ugly head but it was talk to Simon or nothing.  He had to be brave.

Brave like Simon was tonight.  Brave like Bram should have been weeks ago.

***

Simon wasn't in school.  

Simon...never missed school.  Never.  It just wasn't a thing.  He even came in the first day after Christmas when he had been outed, something Bram doesn't think he could have done.  

His friends (he guess he could call Abby his friend at this stage) speculated over Simon's absence briefly before English but neither Abby nor Nick seemed to keen to talk about it.  

Bram instantly assumed the worst: Simon wasn't in because he couldn't face coming into school, knowing Blue had stood him up.  Abby and Nick obviously knew about Blue and knew why Simon was out.  

The only person who wasn't in the loop was Garrett. 

Bram decided to leave him outside it for a little while longer.

Garrett had cornered him that morning at his locker to ask why Bram rushed out of his place last night.  Bram had made up some excuse about his mom that he knew Garrett didn't believe.  

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Garrett had said quietly after a moment or two.

"I - I know.  Just, not right now, OK?" 

"Got your back," Garrett said and clapped him on the shoulder.

Bram thought about that all the way to the library at lunchtime.  He knew he could trust Garrett with anything, even this.  He just wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

For now, Bram was going to e-mail Simon on the computers in the school library.  He was going to tell Simon that he, Bram Greenfeld, was Blue.  He was going to explain about last night and he was going to explain that he would love to talk to Simon again and that he would love if they could maybe be more than anonymous pen pals.

He was going to do none of those things.  

**The school library will be closed until further notice for repairs.  Any enquiries about borrowing books or assignments will be dealt with at the Secretary's office.**

**Thank you.**

Bram groaned.  Perfect

***

He had soccer practice after school that afternoon.  When he got home, his mom was acting a bit weird.  Dinner was ready though, so he dropped his bags upstairs quickly and then sat st the table.

It was quiet for the first few minutes.  Bram was already busy formulating the email he would send to Simon.  

"Abraham, I wanted to talk to you about something," his mom said, breaking Bram out of his thoughts.  

Bram instantly started panicking.  What did she want to talk about?  Had she found out about Jacques/Simon somehow?  Had she started seeing someone?  Had she found the empty candy wrappers Bram had forgotten to throw away even after his mom had said they were going to try to eat less sugar and more fibre?

"Uh, OK."

She sighed. 

 _Uh oh._ Definitely the empty candy wrappers.

"It's about your father and his wife.  I wanted to know how you really feel about the baby."

Oh.  That was not the direction Bram thought this conversation would be following. 

"I know it can be hard to adjust to sudden changes like this, so I think we should talk about.  Your head has been up in the clouds lately, Bram.  I want to make sure you're OK with everything that's going on," she said.

"I'm alright, Mom.  I'm just a bit stressed about school work.  It's nothing," Bram said.

Like he was going to tell her about Simon.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm ok Mom.  Really.  I do have tonnes of work to do though, can I be excused?"

"OK Bram," she sighed and Bram got the feeling that she didn't really believe him. 

"Thanks Mom."

He cleared his plate and raced upstairs.  Bram was way ahead of his work, his essays due at the end of this week already completed.  All he really had left to do was email Simon.

Composing the email is a lot harder than Bram expected it to be.  He figured sending it would be the hardest.

Bram spent a solid ten minutes staring at a blank screen, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

When he eventually managed to type something he thinks might do the trick, he spends another ten minutes pacing his room and psyching himself up fo send it.

He made a pros and cons list in his head and found that the pros outweighs the cons, and before he could lose his nerve, he pressed send.  

Bram closed his laptop and stuffed it underneath a bunch of t-shirts in his wardrobe.

He was too anxious to sleep, wondering why the hell he thought he was brave enough to do this.  Bram opened his wardrobe three times before he finally decided to leave it alone.

All he can do now is wait.

***

_TO: bluegreen118@gmail.com_

_FROM: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com_

_DATE: Jan 26 at 8:53 AM_

_SUBJECT: Re: Us_

_Dear Simon,_

_I'm not sure how to start this.  It's taken me twenty minutes to actually type it out.  I know I'm not brave like you but I am trying to be.  For us.  For you._

_I'm sorry I didn't meet you at the carnival.  By the time I saw your email, it was half ten (10:34 pm to be exact) and when I got there, the whole thing was shut down and no one was around.  I tried to email you in school but the library was closed for repairs.  I broke my phone on the way to the meet you.  I haven't been able to use it since then._

_I know it just sounds like more excuses for why I still haven't told you who I am.  I'm sorry.  I hope you know that I am so ridiculously sorry._

_I tried to let you know who I was when I left you the Elliot Smith shirt.  I don't know what happened there but it was my moment of bravery and I'm sorry I wasn't brave enough to be more courageous sooner._

_When I missed my chance at meeting you last night, I panicked.  I panicked because I was afraid it was our last chance.  I don't want last night to have been our last chance.  I want you to know more about me and I want to know more about you, because **if you think I'm not attracted to you, Simon, you're crazy.**_

_I may not be the person you want me to be.  I don't know if I can stand the thought of you not wanting it to be me.  I know I didn't handle it very well when you thought I was someone else._ _But I'm ready to take that risk because I know you're worth the risk._

_My name is Bram Greenfeld.  My best friend is Garrett Laughlin.  I play soccer for our high school and I sit at your table every lunch.  I'm black and Jewish and gay, and I have had a crush on you since you first tried to start a conversation with me in freshman year in English._

_I'm sorry it took me this long to say it but I know I wasn't ready before.  I am now._

_And I'm ready for you to know who I am; all of me and not just most._

_I hope this doesn't change things.  I hope you're not disappointed that it's me._

_I hope we can, maybe, start again._

_Love,_

_Bram._

***

Simon hadn't replied to Bram's email by lunch the next day.  Bram wasn't sure if he had even opened it yet.  

He was hoping that Simon hadn't opened it yet.  That meant he couldn't reply yet because he obviously didn't even know what Bram had said.  

He was hoping the reason Simon hadn't replied yet wasn't because he was disappointed it was Bram.  

Bram hated when people were disappointed in him.  It was the worst.

Bram was staring at Simon, trying to figure it out.  He didn't realise he was being so obvious about it until Simon got angry at him and left.

"What was that all about?" Garrett asked, nudging his arm and nodding at Simon's retreating figure.

"I, uh, I don't know."  Bram's cheeks felt hot and his chest felt tight.  He was so embarrassed.  He wanted to curl up and cry or maybe die, he hasn't decided yet.

Lunch chatter continued on after a moment.  Abby and Nick seemed distracted however, both of them frequently glancing at Simon's empty place.  

They didn't look at Bram at all and that decided it for him.  Simon hadn't opened his email and he most definitely had not told his friends.  He felt strangely hopeful and relieved and then panicked all over again.

It was exhausting.

Lunch seemed to drag on forever.  Bram's cheeks still felt hot from his encounter with Simon.  After a while, he turned to Garrett.

"I'm going to go to my locker, I'll see you in class?"

Garrett made a noiseof acknowledgement and Bram hurried off.  That feeling of embarrassment lingered, the nauseous butterflies in his stomach fluttering like mad.

He reached his locker and opened it, pulling out books he needed.  He thought about his email and Simon, as he did any other time he had space to think.  Simon had not opened his email.  His friends didn't know - they knew something but not everything.  They probably knew Simon was upset but they weren't acting weirdly around Bram now.  

That meant Bram still had time to prepare himself.  For rejection or an answer, Bram wasn't sure yet.  

He wanted Simon to open the email.  Wanted it so badly.  He needed to know if Simon was disappointed that it was him and that he knows Bram didn't mean to miss him.  

He was surprised at himself because he had been hiding his identity for so long and now he can't wait for Simon to know that he was Blue.  Blue Greenfeld.  Bram Greenfeld.  Blue.

Bram was pulled back into reality when he heard voices around the corner.  He didn't mean to eavesdrop but that sounded like Simon.

"Do you wanna hang out sometime?"

Oh.   _Oh._

Theother boy, whoever he was, reacted similarly to Bram.

"Of course, I get it if you aren't interested, I'll just go -"

"No, Simon wait." 

_No, Simon go.  Quickly.  To your laptop._

"I'd love to hang out sometime." 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." 

 _No_.

"Cool, um, yeah.  Uh, let me get those."

"My locker is just around the corner.  Could you help me?  Please?" 

"Sure."

Bram realises that they're coming his way but the corridor is too empty for him to run away.  They would see him.  Instead he hides behind his locker door and decides to wait them out.

They turn the corner and Bram sees that it's.. Cal Price?  Of course it is.  Of course he would be Simon's type.  He does Drama and he has really nice blue eyes and...the same first name as a previous American president.  

So, this is great.  Not only is Simon .oving on from Blue, but he is moving on with the guy Simon thought was Blue.  

Bram doesn't hear the rest of their conversation.  He doesn't notice Cal walking by him.  He does notice Simon's pleased smile when he calls Bram's name.  He tries not to but he does.

And then Simon is apologising and he's so sweet and lovely and his smile is so pretty but it's there because of _Cal Price_.

Bram tries not to hate people who have done nothing wrong to him.  He doesn't see the point.  But right now he hates Cal Price with all of his heart for putting that smile on Simon's face.  And he knows he shouldn't hate Cal.  Because Bram could have been the one to put that smile on Simon's face but he wasn't brave enough to do it.

And he isn't brave enough now.  He doesn't think he'll ever be brave enough.

He wishes he had never made that damn Tumblr post.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out much longer than I expected it to.
> 
> Ok, so I meant to have this finished and posted last week, but I've been super overwhelmed with schoolwork because I have exams this week and next week. The next 8 weeks are going to be pretty much hell for me but I will try to post as often as I can. I just have loads of exams coming up and I'm graduating school this year so. I'll try and post as often as possible.
> 
> I appreciate each and every one of your comments! They really make the whole thing easier to write!
> 
> Thank you for all the love you guys ♡♡
> 
> Up next:  
> Simon and Leah talk things over, talent shows and more!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leah and Simon talk it out! 
> 
> Meanwhile, Cal and Simon make plans and Bram tries not to let his feelings show!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, sorry for not updating sooner but my exams are getting closer and I've just had a lot on my plate these last few weeks.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with it though.
> 
> I thought it was longer than it actually is?? J can't get anything else out of it right now but I might edit it and flesh things out more in the future when I have time. 
> 
> I just want this chapter up and out of my mind.
> 
> As always, the bold and underlined words/phrases/sentences are actual quotes from the book!

Simon felt weird the entire way home.  It was a mix of elation and disappointment and it was tying his stomach in knots.

He tried not to think about any boy-related problems and instead focused on his girl-related problems, aka Leah.  

He hated this tension between them.  He was constantly questioning himself and felt like he was standing on the edge of a crumbling cliff.  It was horrible.

Simon was sitting at the table when Nora came home.  His mom was talking to him about an article she read recently.  He thought it might be about some percentage of gay teenagers who do this or that.  Simon wasn't really listening.  

_**"Is that Leah? Driving Nora?** _

Simon didn't know they were even friends.  What he did know was that it was a perfect opportunity to talk to Leah.

_**"Appears to be."** _

_**"Okay, yeah.  I have to go out there."** _

_**"Oh no," she says.  "Too bad you're grounded."** _

_**"Mom.  Come on.  Please."** _

Nora was getting out of the car.  Simon's very slim chance at redemption was slipping away.

_**"I'm open to negotiating."** _

_**"For what?"** _

_**"One night of parole in exchange for ten minutes of access to your Facebook."** _

_**Jesus Christ.** _

_**"Five.  Supervised."** _

_**"You got it.  But I want to see the boyfriend."**_ Simon tries not to scoff at that.  "Now get out there before I change my mind."

Simon was already out the kitchen door before his mom finished her sentence. 

Leah wasn't happy to see him.  Nor was she happy to drive him to WaHo only to sit in a parked car and watch Simon try not to cry.

It was rough.  Simon cried.  Leah almost cried.  But it was worth it.  Simon knew he had to make Leah understand that she was his best friend and so was Abby and so was Nick.  He wouldn't replace her for anyone; wouldn't replace any of them for anyone.  But they were all different people and just because he loved them all didn't mean he loved any of them more than the others.  

He asked about her dad.  It took him six years but he finally found out.  

_**"Well it's kind of a funny story."** _

_**"Yeah?"** _

_**"** _ **_Um.  Not really.  He hooked up with this hottie nineteen-year-old at his work.  And then he left."_ **

Why hadn't he asked her that before?

**_"Oh.  Leah I'm so freaking sorry."_ **

And then Simon lost it.  He started crying.  Full on, snot-nosed, puffy eyes crying.  It was disgusting.  Leah said as much.

_**"You're a mess Spier."** _

_**"I know."**_ He dropped his head onto her shoulder and breathed in her familiar scent.  He was so close to losing her friendship that he treasured so much and he didn't even know simple things about her.  What kind of friend was he?   _ **"I really love you, you know?  I'm so sorry about everything.  About the Abby thing.  All of it."**_

_**"Its fine."** _

_**"Really.  I love you."** _

Leah sniffed and glanced away.  

_**"Um, did you get something in your eye, Leah?"** _

_**"No.  Shut up.  You did."** _

Simon laughed.  

"You don't happen to have any tissues with you?"

"Um, no.  This isn't a teenage boy's beside table -"

"Leah!"

She laughed.  Simon could feel the tension between them slipping away with every dumb joke.  Leah smiled at him and he gives her a watery smile back.

"So, do you want to get waffles, while we're here, or?"

"Have you seen my face?  I'm a mess, Burke.  I cant go in there looking like this!"

"So we're getting waffles then."

"Obviously."

***

Friday night was the talent show.  It starts at seven and Nick and Simon arrived at 6:59.  If anyone asked, it was totally Nick's fault they were so late.  It definitely had nothing to do with Simon spending slightly longer than usual doing his hair so a certain Cal Price would notice.  Nick totally didn't tease Simon about his hair the whole way to the school either.

"Garrett and Bram are saving us seats somewhere," Nick said as the hurried into the bustling hall.  The lights dimmed as they walked in and rustling murmurs died down.  It was harder to find their friends (were Garrett and Bram even his friends?) until Garrett stood up and waved frantically at them.

"Eisner!  Over here!" He whisper-shouted.  An older lady near the back scoffed and muttered about "young people these days", as the scurried to their seats, trying not to disrupt the other audience members too much.

Garrett grinned at them when they arrived and bumped fists with Nick, who proceeded to sit beside Garrett.  That meant Simon was left to sit beside Bram. 

It wasn't that he didn't want to, it was more that things had been weird between him and Bram since he had snapped at him.  They weren't really friends and Simon had made things awkward.  It also didn't help that Bram was seriously cute.  For a while, Simon had been hoping Blue was Bram, had even thought it was Bram momentarily.  Maybe that was why Bram had been staring at him in school the other day?  Because he had seen Simon's email and then didn't go to the carnival -

 _Stop it._ He cursed at his own thoughts.  He was done with Blue now.  He had a possible date with Cal Price.  He couldn't be fantasising about who might be Blue, even if they were really good looking boys with nice eyes and great soccer calves.

And especially when they were sitting right next to you, smelling that great.

_Damn it._

Simon didn't pay attention to any of the acts.  How could he?  Bram shuffled around a lot in his seat, constantly shifting his feet and occasionally tapping his fingers against the armrest, against his knee, against the programme.  Simon cut a glance across at him and Bram met his eyes.  Bram blushed and muttered an apology in a soft voice.  Simon felt his face go red and he looked away.  He needed to stop picturing holding Bram's hand.  He needed to stop thinking of kissing Bram.

He needed to get it together. 

Abby was on second to last.  Simon looked at Nick when she came on and had to look away again.  He was smiling into his fist and was so completely focused on the stage.  Simon could feel the pride and love in his gaze.  He hated that it made him jealous.  He hated that didn't know who Blue was.  He hated that Blue would never look at him like that.

He seriously needed to get a grip.

When Abby finished to appreciative applause, Simon looked at Nick again.  He was grinning and clapping furiously.  He met Simon's eyes and his grin grew even bigger.  Simon couldn't help but smile back.

Because he was ridiculously happy for his friends.  

His happiness turned to delighted shock when the next act turned out to be Nora and Leah in a band called Emoji, with Anna, Morgan and _Taylor Metternich_ , of all people.

And they were good.  Simon didn't even know Leah or Nora were friends, let alone could play.

Although that would explain what they were doing together yesterday.  He's just been so caught up in his own drama that he never even noticed Leah and Nora getting a band together.

Of course, Nick knew about Emoji.  Obviously.  Just another thing oblivious ole Simon missed.

If Simon thought the applause for Abby's performance was crazy, he wasn't prepared for the uproarious applause that followed Emoji's performance.

The crowd went wild, standing ovations galore.  Simon was among them, cheering and clapping, feeling so proud, he thought his heart might burst.

Afterwards, there were congratulations and some small, barely there tears from Simon when he flung his arms around Leah's shoulders but he would prefer not to mention that.  Then there were more not worthy of a mention tears when he saw Alice.

Theo was nice.  He's cute too.  He told Alice just as much and she blushed and shoved his shoulder gently. 

They're getting ready to leave when Simon heard Cal call him over.

"One second," he mumbled to his family and walked away.  He would rather his family weren't here to see him talk to Cal.  He could already hear them whispering.

Cal smiled at Simon and he could feel his heart bear just a little faster.  He looked good - his cheeks were flushed from the warm auditorium, his hair was messy and rumpled like he had been brushing his hands through it, and most importantly, he was smiling at Simon.

"Hey," Cal said.  "I wanted to ask you about what you said the other day."

Uh oh.

"Uh, we don't have to if have to do anything if you don't want to."

Cal laughed.  "That's not what I meant, although I am starting to think you don't want to go out with me."

"I do, I do!" Simon said in a rush.  In a brave move, he squeezed Cal's forearm gently, and the whispering behind him became louder.  He quickly dropped Cal's arm.  "I just, I don't know, you know..."

"Yeah I get it," Cal laughed again.  It was a light and breezy laugh and Simon felt his heart flutter again.  "But, um, I was just wondering, if you were still up to it, maybe we could do something tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Simon smiled.  "Yeah I would like that."

The smiled at each other for a second.  Simon's father cleared his throat.  He rolled his eyes and the moment was over.  

"So, I'll text you?" Cal said.  

"Yeah, do." 

"I'll see you later, Simon."

"Bye," he said.  

Cal walked away and Simon stared after him, blushing.  

"So who's the guy you're dreamily staring at?" Alice said from behind him.

"W-what?  I am not staring," he sputtered.

She gave him a looked and he blushed harder.  "Sure, Simon.  Now come one before Dad starts teasing you about your crush right here and not in the car.  We've got Frosted Oranges to devour."

Even though she was smaller than, Alice threw her arm around his shoulder and steered him out the door, after their family.

Simon waved goodbye to his friends, who smirked at him and wiggled their eyebrows. 

Everyone except Bram.  

Bram didn't tease him or grin mischievously across the room.  Instead he started at Simon with his big brown eyes and looked heartbroken.  It was a fleeting look but it was enough to make Simon's breath catch in his throat.

But that didn't make sense.  Why would he be heartbroken?  And he was smiling now and talking to Garrett.  

Simon must have been seeing things.  He needed to think about the cute boy who asked him put, not the cute, _straight_ boy who sat at there table at lunch and barely spoke.

Maybe he should just not think about boys and think about seeing Alice for the first time in a few weeks.  

If he could concentrate on this dinner, then he could make it through the night without thinking about Bram or Cal or even Blue who hadn't really crossed his mind all night. 

Maybe he was getting over Blue.

At dinner, he's teased mercilessly about Cal and it only gets worse when Alice Facebook stalked him and brought up _pictures_ and ugh.

Simon had never been happier to see the bill then he was that night. 

They're leaving the restaurant when Simon gets a text from Cal.

_Cal Price_

_10:21_

_I was going to wait until tomorrow to text you but then I thought that might be too late to make plans_

_10:22_

_now I'm thinking that last message was weird but I swear I have a good reason_

_10:22_

_there's a diner that opened up a couple of weeks ago that may be a nice place to go tomorrow???_

_10:23_

_if that's ok with you obvs_

_10:23_

_sorey for all the weird messages_

_10:23_

_*sorry_

Simon smiled even wider. 

Maybe he really was getting over Blue after all.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: 
> 
> Simon freaks out about his date to Abby, Leah and Nick, while Bram thinks things over....


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Date night!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've exams this week and I procrastinated and wrote this. 
> 
> Idk how to write a date. Please accept whatever this is. I'm definitely going to edit the whole thing when I'm finished.
> 
> As I said, I have exams this week and next week so I won't be posting until the end of June!

It was Saturday morning and Simon was freaking out.

He was going on a date.  With an actual boy!  He was going on a date, with a boy who was interested in him.  A boy who made stupid grammatical errors around him because Simon made him nervous.

Fourteen-year-old Simon wouldn't believe it.

The grammatical errors briefly reminded him of Blue but Simon quickly put him out of his mind.  No point crying over spilt milk, is what his Nana always said. 

Simon wasn't sure how to go about it.  He didn't want to tell his parents he had a date because his mom would get all weird and emotional, and his dad would give him The Talk.  Alice was here as well, so that would mean her and Nora should gang up against him and tease him mercilessly.  They would do it anyways, even if Alice wasn't here.

He needed to enlist the help of Abby.

His plan was fool-proof (not really, but Simon was nervous).  He would just say he was going over to Abby's house to work on a project.  Abby lived the farthest away because of the segregation in Shady Creek that still existed but no one talked about.  Abby was over at his house a few weeks ago, before everything went down, so Simon could just say it was Abby's turn to host for the project.

His mom liked polite behaviour and she liked Abby.  She could definitely be down for that.

First he needed to tell Abby.

He called her shortly after ten.

"Abby I need your help," he said when she picked up.

"Hello to you too," she laughed.  "What's up?"

He hesitated.  He didn't really know _how_ to talk about boys.  He'd never really figured that out. 

"Simon?"

"Uh, yeah.  I have a favour to ask you and don't freak out when I tell you what it's for."

"I won't," she said.  

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"Ok, so I need your help tonight because Cal kind of asked me out and I don't reply want to tell my family because they'll freak out and get all weird about it, and I'm also not too sure what to do tonight and I'm kind of freaking out and I need your help," Simon said in a rush.

He could _hear_ her grinning.

"Stop it, I told you not to freak out."

"I'm not freaking out!" Abby insisted.

"I can hear your excitement."

"I'm just really excited and happy for you, Simon!" Abby said.  "You have to tell me everything.  Was he the guy you were looking for at the fair?  I knew there was something going on between you two -"

"No, Abby.  He wasn't but I don't have time to tell you about that now.  I'll tell you on Monday."

"Oh.  Sorry," she said.  

"It's fine."  Simon didn't want to be thinking about Blue right now.  Anything but Blue.

"Will you help me?" 

"Of course I will!  What do you need me to do?"

"I just need you to say that I'm at your house for an English project if anyone asks.  Especially if Nora asks.  Don't tell her about Cal.  She may act all innocent but she'll definitely tell Alice or mom."

"Ok, I won't."

"And definitely don't tell my mom anything.  She'll completely overreact and make a big deal out of it.  She probably has a scrap book for milestones like this," Simon scoffed.

"Aww," Abby cooed.  "Emily is so cute, I love your mom."

"Concentrate, Abigail."

"Right, ok.  I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," he sighed in relief.

"Should I tell Nick and Leah?"

"No!  Abby, come on. Not right now."  Simon didn't want them to know yet.  It still felt weird having on a date.  He knew his friends would probably show up at the diner in bad wigs and fake stick-on noses if he told them about it.  He needed not to be worrying about that tonight.   "Tell them tomorrow if it goes well."

"And it will!  Cal seems to really like you.  I was talking to Rosaline - that is, Rosaline Wallis, Cal's friend -  like two weeks ago and she asked if you were seeing anyone because she has a friend who is interested in you, and then she not-so-subtly glanced at Cal, and now here we are.  I'm so excited for you, Si!"

Simon was blushing like mad now.  ''Me too, Abby but I would be even more excited if I knew what to wear.''

"Right. Yes, go on."

"Ok, so I don't know if I should go casual or formal-ish."

"Ooh, let me see.  Show me your closet."

"The one for my clothes or the one I spent the last seventeen years in?"

"Hmm, I think the first closet will be most useful tonight."  She huffed a laughed. 

"Really?  I think the second closet might be a topic Cal and I can both talk about."

Abby laughed.  "Shut up and let me help you.  I'm going to hang up and FaceTime you, one sec."

"Later hater," he joked.

"Kiss my ass," Abby replied, laughing.

 

*

 

"Where are you going, Simon?"  His mom's words stopped him in his tracks.  He was halfway out the door, his coat zipped up fully to hide the nice, not-too-formal-but-not-too-casual shirt he and Abby had picked out earlier.

"Uh, I'm going over to Abby's.  We have an English project due on Monday.  Remember, I told you I was going over a few days ago?"

Emily didn't look convinced.  "Uh-huh.  And why do you look so dressed up?"

"I'm not?" Simon stuttered.  God, he was an idiot. 

"And this 'project' had nothing to do with that nice boy you were talking to yesterday?"

"W-what?  Mom no," Simon sputtered.

_Yes, it did._

"Cal is just a friend from drama.  He just had to ask me something."

"What was it that he had to ask you, again?"

"Mom, come on.  I don't know, something stupid that has absolutely nothing to do with you.  Can I go?  Abby and I really need to finish this project up."

"Alright, go on."

"Thank you," he sighed.  Simon tried not to race out of the house.

"Have fun on your date!  Don't be back too late!"  His mom called after him.

So much for not letting his family find out.

 

*

 

The plan was to meet Cal at the cinema and then they would go for food in the new diner afterwards.

They had been lightly texting throughout the day, just short messages that didn't really have any significance but still made Simon smile and look forward to their evening.

The film was starting at 7:30, so they planned to meet fifteen minutes beforehand outside the cinema.

Simon parked a bit away from the doors of the cinema.  The car park wasn't that full but it was still bustling with life.  There were more people leaving than going in, but that's just how it was at this time.  When Cal and Simon were leaving, there would be more people arriving.  It was all about timing.

Simon's thoughts were a rambling mess.  He knew his mouth would follow suit too.  That's why he parked a bit away; he needed a minute to collect his thoughts and calm his nerves.  

He gripped the steering wheel and stared straight ahead, breathing in and out slowly.  

"You can do this, Spier.  It's no big deal.  You're just going on a date with a cute boy, who isn't Blue but that's ok, because this time, the cute boy wants to meet you.  You can do it.  And you're not gonna think about Blue for the rest of the night," he said.

He squeezed the steering wheel one last time and then let go.  He quickly fixed his hair in the mirror and then got out of the car.  

He could do this.  And he was going to stop being nervous because stumbling words and clammy hands were not ideal first date qualities.

Cal was waiting for him outside.  He was looking at his phone, but even for a distance, Simon could tell he looked cute.  Obviously.

"Hi," Simon said, a little breathlessly, when he got closer. 

Cal looked up from his phone and smiled.  "Hi."

They stood awkwardly for a moment.  Simon didn't know what to say.

"So, we should probably go in," Cal said.

"Yeah," Simon mumbled.  He followed Cal in and up to the queue for the tickets.  His plan to be chill wasn't working so far.  He could talk to Cal on a normal day - why couldn't he talk to Cal now?

"So, I've heard that 'Project Almanac' is good.  Should we check that one out?" Cal asked.

''Sounds good," Simon said.

They were quiet as they headed to the back of the queue. 

_Anything, Simon.  Just say anything._

"So, uh.  Did you go to the carnival?"

Cal looked at him strangely.  "Yeah.  I was with you and a group of drama people for most of the night."

Simon blushed.  _Maybe think first before you say anything.  "_ Right, obviously.  I meant, did you enjoy the fair?"

They talked quietly for a few minutes about the carnival.  Cal said his favourite ride was the Tilt-A-whirl.  Simon couldn't believe the irony in him thinking Cal was Blue.  He said his favourite ride was the Tilt-A-Whirl.   He couldn't be further from being Blue.

Cal told Simon about how he went with his sister all the time when they were younger.

"Its sort of a tradition in my house to go to the carnival every year," Cal said, almost shyly.

"Its a tradition in my house to watch _The_ _Bachelorette_ every week and discuss it as a family after," Simon said, shaking his head slightly.

Cal snorted and then looked embarrassed.  Simon smiled.  "That's the first time I've ever heard of that."

They reached the top of the queue and paid separately for their tickets.  Simon didn't want to overdo it on the popcorn tonight, so he only got a medium sized portion.  Cal had other ideas and splurged out on a large popcorn.  Simon appreciated that.

"You ready?" Cal asked.

Simon nodded and smiled.

They were quiet as they made their way to their seats.  Simon wasn't sure what to talk about.  How did he talk to Cal again? Cal didn't seem sure of what to say either, the silence between them was stifling and awkward.  Simon tried to think of something to say, his mind whirring, but the lights dimmed and the screen turned on before he had the chance.  Simon shrunk down in his seat and prayed this night would get better.

 

*

 

"So, what did you think?" Cal asked after the movie.  

"Eh, it was alright, I guess.  I felt like it was missing something though."

"Like, a plausible plot line?" Cal joked.

"Yes, exactly that," Simon laughed.

They hadn't really spoken much during the movie.  Two rows behind them was a young couple, probably sophomores, who spent the whole movie giggling and making out.

Simon knew that was what you did on a date at the cinema.  Like, going to the cinema was just code for finding a spot to make out.

But Simon and Cal weren't straight and they had barely even talked.  

So, Simon spent the entire time as stiff as a rod, trying not to think too much about it but completely over thinking it.  

"I don't know, I just think it could have been better but they spent too much time focused on high school?  They could literally time travel, why didn't they do anything actually interesting?"

"I know, right?"  This was better.  They had something to talk about.

They wandered outside and hung around for a moment.

"So," Simon said.  "Are you still up for the diner?"

"I am, if you are," Cal replied.  

"Did you drive here?  Because I have my car, if you need a lift?" Simon said.

Cal looked a little bit relieved.  "Could I?  My mom needed the car tonight; she's got this meeting in Atlanta tomorrow morning and she's going up tonight."

"Yeah that's cool.  The car is just over here," Simon said.  They walked in the direction of his car, standing close enough for their arms to brush.  "What does your mom do?"

"Oh, she's works in the lab in the hospital, testing the blood and stuff.  I'm not sure what the meeting's about; I think it has something to do with new machines they're getting in?  I don't know, it always sounds really complicated."

"No, that sounds so cool.  I would never be able to do that though, I'm like a total whimp when it comes to blood," Simon said.

Cal laughed.  "Me too.  All of us are.  My mom is the only one the house who doesn't mind it, the rest of us just get so squeamish around blood."

"Seriously?  That's so weird that's she's the only one."

They arrived at Simon's car.  He unlocked it and they got inside.  Simon started up the engine, as Cal continued talking.

"Ugh, I know.  She tells us that everytime someone so much as gets a paper cut."

Simon laughed at that.  "How many of you are there in your family?"

Simon pulled out of the parking lot and turned on the radio.  Some indie rock band Simon had never heard of was playing and he let it play quietly in the background, the music filling the natural silences.

"There's five of us - me, my mom and dad, my older sister, Emma, and my older brother, Michael."

They talked about their families for the rest of the short drive to the diner.  The conversation wasn't awkward or uncomfortable anymore and the silences that fell were natural and easy.

The diner was about ten minutes away from the cinema.  There was a good crowd at it when they got there, the car park half full.  It wasn't bad for a diner that only opened recently.

They got out of Simon's car and headed towards the diner, still talking.  They were laughing at a story Cal was telling about a family holiday from when he was younger.  They were a few feet from the door when it opened and Garrett Laughlin tripped over his feet and out the door.  He stumbled and straightened, the soda in his hand spilling small drops over his wrist.  Garrett saw them and his eyes widened.  Simon swears his jaw dropped open in shock.

"Jeez Garrett, that's an overreaction," a very familiar voice said.  

Bram stepped outside behind Garrett and stopped short when he saw them. 

It was funny, his mom used to always say that if you spend a long time with someone you adopt some of their characteristics and mannerisms.  Simon hadn't really paid attention to that until now.  

Bram was wearing the exact same, shocked facial expression as Garrett - the wide eyes and slack jaw down to a tee.

"Um, hey guys," Simon said.  They were kind of friendly. They sat at the same table anyways and Simon had given out to Bram the other day, so that must mean they have some sort of friendship.

Garrett and Bram didn't say anything.

"Hi," Cal said behind him. For some reason, that triggered a reaction from Garrett.  He stared at Cal with narrow eyes.  

Bram glanced at Garrett, and then at Simon and Cal.  "Uh, hi.  We were just going actually, come on Garrett."

Bram pushed at Garrett's shoulder, jostling him out of his stare down with Cal.  They hurried away, mumbling together, Garrett gesturing wildly with his soda.

Cal and Simon looked at each other.  

"You're...friends with them?" Cal asked.

"I think so?  Yeah, I guess."

"What was that all about?"

Simon looked after the two boys. They were at Bram's car now.  They were standing outside the doors, talking over the roof to each other.  They looked back at Simon and Cal and then turned to each other again.  Garrett shrugged and Bram shook his head.  Then, they got into the car and drove away.

"I have no idea," said Simon. 

 

*

The diner was nice.  Despite being almost full, it was quiet enough.  There was soft music playing and the place was friendly and warm.  The food was good.  It was actually better than good.  Simon hadn't tasted a burger that amazing in ages.

After the weird meeting with Garrett and Bram, the stilted conversation returned briefly.  Then Cal asked Simon what he wanted their next show to be and they stated talking about drama and college and what their favourite shows were.

It was nice and fun and Simon hadn't checked his phone once to see if his friends or family had text.

It was well after nine when they decided to head home.  

"Sorry, I have this curfew thing, which is lame but my dad doesn't seem to care if I think it's lame or not," Cal apologised.

"No that's ok," Simon smiled.  "I probably should head home soon.  I said I was going to Abby's house for a project but my mom definitely did not believe that.  If I arrive home too late, she'll know she was right about me being on a date."

Cal laughed.  It was twinkly sort of laugh that made his nose scrunch up and his eyes shine.  It was freaking cute.  "Yeah, I told my mom I was with some friends too.  I just didn't want to have that conversation with them, you know?"

"That was my exact reason for not telling them either."

They meandered outside and hung around.  It was cold outside and Simon was glad he was wearing his coat.  Cal was wearing a maroon beanie.  His fringe flopped out underneath onto his forehead.

"Do you want me to drop you home instead of waiting here for your dad?" Simon asked.

"You don't have to," Cal protested.  "Didn't you just say you should be getting home?"

Simon shrugged.  "I can be a bit late."  Cal grinned at him.  Simon blushed and stared at his shoes.

Cal didn't live far away, only about twenty minutes, on a cute street with lamp posts and flowers in the windows of houses. Cal got him to park on the opposite side of the street so his family wouldn't ask too many questions.  Simon got that.  He knew what having a nosy family was like.

He parked the car and stared straight ahead for a moment.  He was suddenly nervous.  He didn't know what to do know.  Did he kiss Cal?  That's what you did on first dates.  You kiss them at the end of the night.  Simon had a weird feeling in his gut.  It was probably just nerves.

He wanted to kiss Cal.  He should kiss Cal.  He should want to kiss Cal.

For some reason, his mind flicked to Blue and then to Bram Greenfeld? 

"So," Cal said.  Simon looked over at him.  He had taken off his seatbelt and was playing with his hands.  "I guess I should go then."

"Yeah, I guess," Simon said.  _No, Simon, you asshole.  That's not what you're supposed to say._

"I had fun tonight," Cal said.  He looked at Simon.  His cheeks were dusted pink.  He was till fidgeting with his hands.

"Me too," Simon said.  

Then Cal was leaning in closer and he kissed him. 

It was

nice.

It was fine.  It was soft and gentle and short.  Cal's lips were soft and he tasted like the mint chewing gum they ate after the diner.

Simon's hands were still on the wheel and Cal's were still in his lap.  He pulled back from Simon and smiled.  They are both blushing.

"I'll see you later," he said.  He opened the door and hopped out.  Cal waved at Simon before crossing the street and heading inside.

Even after he was gone, Simon waited for ... something.

His first proper kiss with a boy and it was ...

Well, it was late.  Simon would think abour his date tomorrow.

Even so, Simon left with a smile on his face and a warm feeling in his chest.

Tomorrow he would tell his friends about his date and think about it himself.

Maybe he would even tell them about Blue.

It might actually help him to stop thinking about him too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bram POV next chapter!! We find out what he and Garrett were talking about 
> 
> Also, give me your predictions on when Simon is going to find out about Bram in the comment section! I'm interested to hear what you think....

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea when the next chapter will be up. It'll probably be in the next few days or a week because I'm on holidays right now. 
> 
> I think I might switch between Simon and Bram's point of view and the next chapter will be Bram's point of view on why he didn't turn up, etc.
> 
> Stay tuned yall.


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